The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
