she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
my poor anus
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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