I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
