Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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