And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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