Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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