Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
