so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
