my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
this is an emotional support booty call
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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