windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
