I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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