I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My feet surprised me
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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