Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
