My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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