I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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