Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
