I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
