it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
