Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
