i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
