Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
