Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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