Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
