Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
