loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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