you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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