His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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