This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
