I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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