hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize