I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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