Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
