his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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