i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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