i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
