This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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