somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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