My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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