Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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