So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
