i don't like sucking hair
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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