I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
