it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
