If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
