i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
