At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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