I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my sisters under your porch take her home
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
