the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
