she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
