Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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