Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
