I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
