She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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