If i come over, it means nothing
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
