Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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